16 Gifts From A Stepmom: Encouragement for the Blended Family Journey

By Sharilee Swaity

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Do you struggle with how to connect with your stepchildren? Do you sometimes fear that you will always feel like an outsider, a stranger? Blended families are not easy. They are always started after a great loss — the loss of the previous family, whether to divorce, breakup or bereavement.

When you come into the picture, you may not be aware of the grief that is still lingering from events in the past. As a stepmom, you want to show that you care, but the barriers seem too great. How can you gain trust? How can you get closer?

First, be willing to look at the losses endured by this family before you came into the picture. Be compassionate. Know that problematic behaviours often have their roots in unresolved grief.

Second, know that you will start off as a stranger, and that is normal. Building relationships take time. It is a process that won’t happen in a weekend or even a month. It is a gradual development.

Third, know that you do have a lot to offer as a stepmom, gifts that will slowly build connections and love. Gifts that, in the end, will build a legacy.

Compassion, acceptance, encouragement. Patience, listening, involvement. And don’t forget fun! All kids love to have fun, no matter how serious they are! There are sixteen gifts in total that author Sharilee Swaity reminds you that you have to give.

Soak in the love and encouragement from this book. This quick read will be one you revisit when you need to remind yourself that you are making a difference, even when you don’t see it.

Author Sharilee Swaity

A lover of chai tea, long walks in the forest and theatre, Sharilee Swaity is a teacher, researcher, and author. She loves learning for learning's sake and is always caught in a new project to expand her horizons and ideas. She identifies as a Christian and is an INFP by personality.

Sharilee and her husband live in a forest in Canada where the trees grow far into the sky and coyotes, foxes and bears are seen on a semi-regular basis. The two of them enjoy sunset-chasing together and are both in their second marriage.

Sharilee Swaity has a Bachelor of Education and has over ten years of classroom experience. She has a passion for helping young people become more confident and for helping families and couples sort out their stuff, so they can bless the next generation. Currently, she teaches Drama part-time at her local high school and maintains her blog, Second Chance Love.

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